my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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