what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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