is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
