Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
