so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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