i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
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Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
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Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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