I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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