I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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