My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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