bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
