omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
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Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
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I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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