she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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