is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
