Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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