she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
