I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
