Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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