remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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