But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
