small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So here I am, sexting at work.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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