Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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