I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
40s are totally the cure
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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