She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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