I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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