Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
