I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We named our party play list daddy issues
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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