Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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