Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I looked at my own cervix.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
