Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
