Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
