So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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