There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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