if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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