There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
