she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I intend to get homeless drunk
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
