so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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