I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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