If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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