I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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