Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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