"it" just moved
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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