Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Randomize
