So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
