Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
