Pappa wants mamma naked
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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