is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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