security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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