Do you still have your period?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Found the puke drawer
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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