My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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