bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I lost the right to judge tonight
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
