shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the liver wants what the liver wants
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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