Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
