i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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