Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
