Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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