i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
