you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
