85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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