My hand turned me down
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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