I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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