I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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